Wonderful World of Disney?

Disney's Damsels

A while back, a friend of mine and I were discussing the impact of Disney on the realities of relationships. It seems, to us, that a lot of women have something of a fairy-tale scenario in mind when it comes to dating and we wondered how much of that is due to having watched shows/movies, like from Disney, growing up where the Princess is somehow “saved” by her chosen prince. As you can see in this pic, Disney’s damsels can also be interpreted in a negative manner. Let’s examine.

I’ll start with one of my favorites, Snow White. As you know, Snow White takes up residence with 7 dwarfs of differing temperament. A single woman…taking up with 7 dudes? Seems like a problematic way of finding Mr. Right. Just a little counter-intuitive. Wonder if there was infighting between the dwarves over her. Seven also seems like a strange number of dudes to be living together. Wonder if there was an 8th that was like “Eff this…none of us are gonna bang this broad either way. I’m outta here.” Snow White seems like the innocent type that prob hangs out in sexy draws late in the evening. Accidentally teasin dudes and ish. Actually, SW is only 14 & her stepmom is trying to kill her because she thinks her stepdaughter is hot. Wow. Even gives her a poison apple, while disguised as an old homeless lady. Who accepts anything from homeless transients? Only a dumb teenager.

Then there’s Belle. Appearances dont matter? Pbbbttt. Did The Beast even HAVE a name? Didnt he wind up having to fight a pack of wolves for her anyway? Also, didnt The Beast have some kinda palace or something? Miss me with this innocence on Belle. Nobody is into THAT beastly & hairy of a dude. Bestiality concerns? But he had nice digs tho. Who’s the predator here, Beauty or The Beast? Or is this more of an interracial dating tale with terrible stereotyping? Both?

Jasmine might be the most innocent of them all. All she did was find a poor dude she was somehow into…when he came across a magic lamp and such. Cant say she was about the money tho since she was already well off. She probably didnt wanna get taken advantage of by no golddigger…but given how Aladdin came across that lamp, she kinda was anyway. I was recently informed that “A Whole New World” is actually about losing your v-card, which puts a fun little spin on that story, doesnt it? Man, being a single parent STAYS being tough. In fact, this whole group of ladies are from single-parent households, if that, arent they? I digress.

What is there to say about Sleeping Beauty? The story is pretty basic. Girl turns 16. Meets a boy. Gets into trouble. But the interesting part lies in the rest of the story. In order to save her, the Prince must climb “The Forbidden Mountain,” pull out his “sword of truth” as well as his “shield of virtue” and slay the beast. I mean…for real? Oh and guess what, the shield broke. Uh oooooohhhhhhhh!!!

Cinderella gives you a little more of the same formula. How a family of DISTURBINGLY ugly folks could wind up with a hot stepsister is odd to me. I mean, where are HER parents? Insufficient Daddying. Anyway, The League of Unfortunate Women treat her like the hired help, causing her to break out and apparently develop a nasty drug habit. I mean…she all of a sudden has a fairy godmother and some cool ass rodent friends that like to tailor outfits? Riiigghhttt. OR maybe she dipped into a stash and wound up high as a mu’fucka! Crashed a party, managed to leave before the authorities got there, but they eventually find her anyway and fit her for a brand new ankle monitor. She is then transported to a halfway house or hospital/mental health institution. Damn, she might be the saddest story of em all. SMH. Say NO to drugs, kids.

Lastly, Ariel. This story is a lil diff because of the older woman tryna get at Ariel’s man AND her pops. Seems like another interracial dating story tinged with a MILF Gone Wild aspect. I mean, Ursula tryna get at EVERYBODY. Greedy heffa. Who goes about setting up someone to meet a guy and then goes after that guy herself? Wack sauce. All because Ariel’s pops wasnt into her? Besides her clear fetishism, Ariel seems pretty innocent herself. And at least her dude got his own place. Aladdin living with Jasmine’s parents and shit. I cant hate on her for the plastic surgery either. I dont mind all that. I mean…its better than a “booty pop.” But what kinda dude takes home a naked, mute girl he found at the pier? Thas a lil SUSS to me, dawg. Just sayin. She’s cute and all but still. Ariel KINDA seems like she could be a Kardashian. I’m not saying…I’m just saying.

It seems, to me, that while telling a fanciful, engaging story, Disney likes to intersperse said story with cautionary tales. Obviously these are going right over a child’s head, but parents? I think some parents catch on to some of this but not most. Man…its hard to raise daughters. Ask Larry Fishburne.