My Radio

My attempts to channel what's playing on the many stations of my mind

Archive for December, 2008

Bad Boys

Posted by and1grad on December 29, 2008

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do…whatcha gonna do when they come for you!?!?

Thats all the words I remember. After that, I just start singing jibberish like Martin does in the movie. Anyway, MY GOODNESS did the Cowboys wet the bed last night. I mean…I was having to avert my eyes last night at times b/c it was hard for ME to watch and the Cowboys disgust me. T.O.’s mistaken…that wasnt a butt-whipping…they got “waxed.” In fact, if there were ever a reason to cry for Romo, it’d have been yesterday. It was interesting watching the game and seeing how few people were actually open for Romo to throw to. No wonder he throws to Witten so much. I took satisfaction in watching Pacman sabotage the Cowboys’ already miniscule chance to win also. Thank you Karma. Eagles got in THAT ASS last night and McNabb was dancing at your season’s funeral. What a terrible way to have your season end. I also think its funny that they’re gonna be blowing up their stadium when its really that “team” that needs it the most.

My man, Brett Favre. Not good enough. I dont know whether or not Mangini should be fired but the Jets should’ve taken like 12 games this season. I know a lot of teams struggled to go coast to coast but that isnt a good enough excuse, in my opinion. The Jets lost to inferior teams or played down to their level on a consistent basis. They remind me of that Hot n Cold song by Katy Perry and Brett, their ringleader, did not deserve to make the playoffs or the Pro Bowl. I hate saying that b/c I’m such a Brett Favre guy but the reality is that he only had a few good games this season and the rest were either mediocre or pure garbage. All those interceptions? UNacceptable. Also, they didnt run the ball anywhere near enough.

I skipped my first Saints game this week. I knew they’d find a way to blow the game and they did. I knew the Bears would lose also. For some reason, the Texans play well in December. I was hoping the Lions would be able to take ONE win but…*shrug* The NFL Playoffs picture is now set.

Indy at SD
I’m not sure any team can beat Indy right now but the Chargers can give em a run for their money. Rivers, as much as I think he’s King Douche of the Monteberry Douchinators, has the NFL’s top passer rating this year. LaDainian Tomlinson is starting to look like his old self. So is Peyton. Dallas Clark is crushing opposing linebackers and if Harrison & Wayne have big games…its a wrap. Plus, these 2 teams dont like each other. All of that makes for an interesting game. I’ll take the Colts tho.

Baltimore at Miami
How fitting that the ONE team Miami beat last year stands poised to knock them out of the playoffs. This is a tough one to predict b/c Pennington is having such a good year. However, I think the abscence of Camarillo will really hurt them here. Fasano is good but I’m not convinced he keep them in this game. I’ll take Baltimore with their suffocating, hungry defense. Plus, I like this Flacco kid.

Atlanta at Arizona
The Cardinals have been UNimpressive since they clinched the playoffs. This game might depend on Boldin. He was a BEAST for most of this year but for about a month or so, he’s fallen off and/or not played at all. They cant win w/o him. Period. Atlanta has a decent defense and if you get enough hits on Warner, much like with any QB, he starts to play bad. This is a tough one to call but I’m inclined to give this one to the kid. Ryan has had a great year (for a rookie) and I’m thinking he goes on. Plus, they’re running game is legit. I wonder if Arizona’s fans can become a factor.


Philly at Minnesota
Minnesota…this team…I swear they play with some kind of lucky rabbit’s foot or clover or SOMETHING in their backpocket. So many of the games they won were some form of dumb luck or BULLshit. Because of that, its hard to pick against them. That and All Day make them formiddable. But if there’s a team that has the defense to really put a hurt on the Vikings, its the Iggles. Plus, Donovan looked pretty on point yesterday. That said, he throws a LOT of passes at people’s feet. I have a feeling the Vikings will somehow pull this out but I’m taking Philly b/c this is a team they SHOULD beat…which is probably faulty logic.

Ok, NFL fans, thats who I got. So, who YOU got?

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Flashback Friday: Christmas in Hollis — Run DMC

Posted by and1grad on December 25, 2008

I’m gonna jump the gun on Flashback Friday this time but….I mean, listening to this on Christmas Day is TRADITION. Enjoy!!

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Zebras

Posted by and1grad on December 25, 2008

If you’re ever wondering to yourself, or aloud, why the NBA will never be as good as the NFL, I can point to a very OBVIOUS factor for you. The zebras. They ruin basketball. They have what, one fewer ref than that of a football game and look how TERRIBLY the games are officiated. Its an ongoing, unfunny joke and when the viewers are sitting there screaming at the court, at the tv, at wherever they’re watching the game, MAYBE the Commissioner should consider acting. You already had a ref admit to cheating. Are any of us willing to believe that the games look ANY different?

Remember when the problem used to be all the acting, shucking, and jiving players used to do to earn a foul call? They dont even need to do that anymore. Zebras call anything they think might happen, forget actually SEEING it happen. Yet, the OBVIOUS fouls…nope. Some fouls look like they ought to involve a crime kit and…nothing. So not only are the refs BETTER for football but they’re actually willing…scratch that…they actually have the GUMPTION to correct a call. When was the last time you saw a ref come back and say that there was no foul on the play. Also, the refs in football announce to the crowd what their call was. I think that lends some accountability to the position. The NBA refs are accountable to nothing.

So NBA referee…I was originally going to wish you a lump of coal in your stocking for Xmas but I’m gonna revise that call (see how easy it is?). I wish you an Anatomy & Physiology textbook.
So you can see what it looks like to have eyes, heart, and some guts. You can learn about their intended function and how to maintain that working function. Then, maybe….MAYBE the NBA can become a better product.

Oh…and Happy Holidays!!

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Jizz In My Pants

Posted by and1grad on December 24, 2008

I have to add this b/c it cracks me up every time I watch it.

Posted in Jokey Joke | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

My Airing of Grievances

Posted by and1grad on December 23, 2008


In keeping with the Seinfeldian celebration of Festivus, and now that I’ve had what will probably be my Festivus dinner, I would like to present my Airing of Grievances. Lets start at the top.

President George W. Bush…I hold you responsible for single-handedly wasting close to a decade of our lives. Your apparent lack of necessary knowledge, or any semblance of usefulness, combined with your errant gilliganism in attempted leadership has stifled this country on COUNTLESS levels. Not only has technology stalled, but the economy is collapsing, and our foreign relationships are failing. You suck…so hard…that there arent even any Republicans left that’ll defend you and they’ll defend anything. On the other hand, because you’re so unbelievably terrible, we’re getting an African American President so thank you for that. Thank you for also essentially disproving the usefulness of “trickle-down economics” on a national scale. The President shouldnt be giving handouts to the rich while thumbing his nose at the poor. Seems like that would be common knowledge but I cant say I’d expect you to be in possession of that anyway. You oaf. You maroon. You putz. Get lost, dunce.

Dumb black atheletes. Yes, you, simple athelete that got put in front of a microphone and acts like not only is English brand new to you, but so is the act of perceived thought. Stop stumbling through interviews with retarded slang. Also, act like you have the sense God gave you when you’re out in public. For christsakes, your livelihood is A GIFT. And btw, kids look up to you. Stop taking that for granted and be worth their adoration…and their admiration. Also, you spent time in college, didnt you? Did NONE of that critical thinking rub off? I mean…some of it HAD TO have…right?

Peyton Manning. Oooohhhhhh you son of a bitch. You motherfu…ooohh you make my asshole itch I cant stand you. Let me back up….its nothing personal. But AS SOON AS its the playoffs in my fantasy leagues, this dude gets hot and CRUSHES me in the 2 leagues that I actually had a chance to win. In consecutive weeks, the guy I played against had Manning and any other indiscriminate cast of characters from the Colts and lit me on fire. Here’s the kicker, I have Reggie Wayne (THEIR BEST RECEIVER) and Marvin Harrison (THEIR BEST somehow avoid prison guy) and he throws touchdowns to NEITHER. So thats a possible $500 bucks that I’m out. Thanks yo. Have a great playoffs anyway….dick.

The Governator. Stop fucking with state workers. Its the state congress that fucked the budget up. Not me and my gov’t bretheren. You’re the one who repealed the car tax. What are you fining yourself?

Mother Nature. Oh you’re really giving it to me with both barrels this season arent you? Waking up to weather in the upper 30s like I live in Sasketchewan or some bullshit. If I wanted that cold ass weather, I’d live in a much cooler city…like Chicago or NYC. Stop fucking with us and bring back the sun. I miss my tan.

Guy who bumrushes the elevator as soon as the door opens. Numbnuts, there may be someone GETTING OFF the elevator. Slow it down, speed racer. Plus, there’s 5 of them. There’s no need to run to catch the one.

Kaiser Permanente. You bastards. You’ll do anything that requires the LEAST amount of treatment wont you? If someone asks for something more than an x-ray, you have every reason in the book why its unnecessary, infeasible, and utterly non-viable. You can be on your deathbed on your way to Kaiser and they’ll still ask you if you have your Kaiser card before they even look up at your face. YOU are a plague.

Home stretch….
Cell phone service, wi-fi…You’re not good enough. You should be better by now and you know it. Quit resting on your laurels and turn it up a notch.

Auto industry…not good enough. People would LOVE to buy American. The fact that they dont is simply a referendum on YOU. Do better. And stop lollygagging and come up with more fuel-efficient/green tech cars already. The world is watching.

I just needed to get some of that off my chest. Happy Festivus everyone!!

Posted in Festivus | 5 Comments »

Happy Festivus!!

Posted by and1grad on December 23, 2008

A Festivus for the rest of us.

I’m not into Xmas. Havent been since high school really. Its always been more work than fun. All that bullshit decorating and trees and crap. Only to take it down in 2 weeks to a month. I’ll pass yo. You be the boob that climbs your house to do all that mess. I’ll drive by and go “ooh.” I feel the same way about that tree. Ours was this fake plastic-y one that somehow managed to survive like TWO DECADES of use. And then when I got old and strong enough to be the one to put the damn thing up….ugh. Damn you Xmas!! Oh…and dont let me forget. My mom’s incessant need to buy gifts for every damn relative/friend we have in the state. Guess who had to wrap it all? Xmas sucks.

But Festivus??? Shheeeeyyyyeettttt, I dont NEED all that. I just wish folks a Happy Festivus and keeps it moving. I love it. No gift shopping amongst absurdly crowded malls. No receiving presents that I didnt need or want. No cards for me to throw away. Its GREAT!!

So…Happy Festivus Everyone!

As you may or may not know, Festivus became popular after it was ran on an episode of Seinfeld. Episode #158, The Strike. This is where I first found about it and I’ve been with it ever since. So what is involved in Festivus?

The Festivus Pole.

As written in wikipedia, “the tradition of Festivus begins with an aluminum pole. During Festivus, the Festivus Pole is displayed unadorned. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is very low-maintenance, and also because the holiday’s patron, Frank Costanza, finds tinsel distracting.”

The Festivus Dinner and Airing of Grievances.
AOG
As explained in wikipedia, “the celebration of Festivus begins with Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served. It consists of lashing out at others and the world about how one has been disappointed in the past year.”

My Festivus dinner will most likely consist of take-out as I am not a fan of cooking.

The Feats of Strength.
FOS
“The Feats of Strength is the final tradition observed in the celebration of Festivus, celebrated immediately following (or in the case of “The Strike”, during) the Festivus dinner. Traditionally, the head of the household selects one person at the Festivus celebration and challenges that person to a wrestling match. The person may decline if they have something else to do, such as pull a double shift at work. Tradition states that Festivus is not over until the head of the household is pinned in a wrestling match.”

As I’m the head of the household, as well as its sole occupant, I expect to be pinned…by myself…at whenever it is I decide go to bed. Which means my Festivus lasts all day!

Lastly, the Festivus Miracle. This is described as, “Festivus miracles tend to be minor coincidences that are usually inconvenient for one of the involved parties.”
Miracle
I cant wait to find out what my Festivus miracle turns out to be!

Hope you all have a fantastic Festivus!.
Happy Festivus!

Posted in Festivus | 3 Comments »

Lazy Blogger

Posted by and1grad on December 22, 2008

One of my man in arms is going to be blogging more and has taken to calling himself the Mad Blogger. I think that would probably make me the lazy blogger b/c I just havent had the energy for it. Especially with twitter around and requiring SO LITTLE energy. However, I think I’ll try a little bit harder get SOMETHING down on this page that isnt a video. So lets get started.

The weekend before last, I went to my first “white elephant” Xmas party. If you’re unfamiliar with what that is, basically everyone brings a gift and it gets put in a pot. Then you draw numbers to see at what point you’ll get to choose a gift. If you like the gift someone else got, you’re able to steal their gift (rather than choose from the unopened ones) when its your turn. A gift can be stolen a total of 3 times. The twist on this particular white elephant party was that the gifts were supposed to be “naughty.” I think we all know what that means. To make a long story short, the best gifts were a pop-up sex book and a picture this guy had of a bodybuilder posing with his face transposed to it, which also came with a squeeze bottle of generic Target lube. Absolutely hysterical.

Since then…
This past week I’ve been working on mostly unimportant bullshit that my boss is making me do for Godknowswhy. Such a complete waste of time, simply b/c we apparently have time to be wasted.

Even tho the economy is in the shitter, we’re ok since we’re not on general fund. However, the Governator seems to believe that since the rest of the economy is sucking, gov’t workers should get their ass kicked too. I guess putting EVERYBODY out of work will help save Culleefornya.

I’ve officially lost in all of my fantasy leagues b/c of the GODdamn Colts. Now I’m onto fantasy basketball which for some reason isnt anywhere NEAR as fun.

My parents and I are ready to make an offer on a house I like. Its a cool 3 bdr/2.5 bath place that I can really see myself living in for quite some time. I’m tired of apartment living. Wish me luck.

That said, my mom can haggle with the best of em. She’s offering 30k less on the house already. I love it! You ever notice that people who haggle, LOVE to haggle. They live for it. She’s gonna have fun frustrating them and I’ll end up with a better deal than I ever would’ve gotten myself. Love it. I think if mom were to ever make The Price is Right and someone bid a dollar against her…she’d look Bob Barker dead in the eye and say “75 cents.”

Xmas…I’m over it. Bloated holiday…I’ll take Festivus. “A festivus…for the rest of us.” Thats what I’M talking about. All I want for Xmas is for the Lakers to beat the Celtics. Sick of them. I like KG…you can HAVE the rest of em. I hope they can get up for this game b/c losing to the teams they’ve lost to recently (Heat, Magic), has been borderline ri-damn-diculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, how about the Panthers giving away that game against the Giants. Letting Derrick Ward run on them like that…especially in OT when you KNEW they were gonna run. Merry Xmas, Jaded. ;-p

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Flashback Friday: Good Vibrations — Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Posted by and1grad on December 19, 2008

In case you forgot how Mr. Wahlberg got his start. For your viewing pleasure…

Posted in Flashback Friday | 3 Comments »

I aint scared of you…

Posted by and1grad on December 15, 2008

Busted through a plateau at the gym today. I felt like that old Bernie Mac skit “I aint scared of you mu’fuckas!!”

RIP to one of the great ones.

Posted in Bernie Mac, Jokey Joke | 4 Comments »

Flashback Friday: I Cant Live Without My Radio — LL Cool J

Posted by and1grad on December 12, 2008

My blog’s namesake. ‘GET FRESH BATTERIES IF IT WONT REWIND!!’

Posted in Flashback Friday | 1 Comment »