My Radio

My attempts to channel what's playing on the many stations of my mind

Archive for March, 2009

Quotables

Posted by and1grad on March 26, 2009

“Prohibition [of alcohol] was a failure in large part because it was already prevalent. Remarkably, there are people who make decisions based on what is legal and illegal. Therefore, use would increase if it [weed] were legalized.

But prohibition also shows how difficult it is to undo certain decisions. If you legalize marijuana, you may find that you don’t get to change your mind later.

Overall, more people using it is not a good thing, IMO. Laws and rules should progress and point toward a more ideal condition, not the opposite. Therefore, legalization in order to avoid political headaches or create revenue is unwise and in the long-term, unproductive.” — redav

Posted in Quotables | 2 Comments »

New Mexico Chili

Posted by and1grad on March 25, 2009

I’ve read this joke a number of times but it still cracks me up.
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For those of you who have lived in New Mexico , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chile Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Bill, who was visiting from Naperville , IL .

Bill: ‘Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.’ Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILE # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILE
Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Bill) — Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILE # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILE

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILE # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILE

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 – BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 — Black bean chile with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chile.

Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Linda, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb.woman is starting to look HOT .. just like this nuclear waste I’m eating!
Is chile an aphrodisiac?

CHILE # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chile. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 — Chile using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chile had given me brain damage. Linda saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them.

CHILE # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chile. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Linda. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILE # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chile with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chile peppers at the last moment. take note that I am worried about Judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chile, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILE # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILE

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chile. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chile. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chile pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chile?

Judge # 3 — No report.

Posted in Jokey Joke | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Blessed

Posted by and1grad on March 23, 2009


I woke up in my bed today. For the first time. In my first house. Wow. Usually, I just get up, do my Ray Lewis pre-game dance, and go about getting ready for the day. Not today. I just kinda sat there and reflected on my life at the present, things of the past, and tried to look forward to the future.

For those that dont know, I just purchased my first home. A 4 bdr, 2.5 bath place with damn near every upgrade in the book. Upgraded tile floors in every bathroom, as well as the kitchen and entry way? Check. Granite countertops in the kitchen? Check. Stainless steel appliances? You better know it. Gas stovetops, upgraded carpet and banisters, and more. I live in a place that under normal circumstances, I cant afford. The fact that this place wound up on the market is a blessing. The fact that my real estate guy is cool with the real estate guy who’s area it was in…dumb luck. But how bout this? He called my real estate guy and told him about this place as we were going out to look for potential homes. Said this place wont be on the market for long. He was right. We LUCKILY got the first bid in…six more followed w/i a week.

Also, it rained a little during the move. Not sure how common it is but I was taught that this can be considered a blessing as well. Kinda similarly to as its explained here, although I’m not Jewish.

I digress. The house is a blessing, in and of itself, but thats not the blessing I’m writing about today. I’m blessed, and or lucky, for a lot of reasons but the one that hits me the most often is simply, the people I know. I’ve been really blessed to be able to surround myself with people that are of an extremely high caliber. I had so much help moving this weekend that I was quite frankly taken a little aback by it. We all know that moving is a CHORE. My friends jumped at the chance to help me. I’m blessed to know them. They are ALL high quality people. Every single person that I consider a friend is someone I feel lucky to know. My old college roommate and his family drove 400 miles to come help me move this weekend. Kids and all (4 and 2). Helped me re-key my place and install blinds as well. What do you say to that? How do I repay something like that? Thats love. I can only hope that I can be as good a friend to them as they are to me. In fact, they are beyond friends. They are family. They are a blessing.

And I CANT leave out the horsemen. College friends that became fam that I know will stand on my side forever. It is an honor to know them. Its a privelege to know that we’ll always be friends, regardless of time zone, dialect, and whatever else that normally makes a friendship falter. That will never happen with us. There’s a lot of things in this world and economy that you CANT be sure of. Its a relief to know that there’s some things that you can be. Shout out to two of my horsemen: EsQPrez & Dallas Black.

I grew up an only child. But some days…it feels like I have the most family of all. And for that, I am TRULY blessed.

Posted in Life | Tagged: | 16 Comments »

Flashback Friday: Looking for the Perfect Beat — Afrika Bambaataa

Posted by and1grad on March 20, 2009

Posted in Flashback Friday | 2 Comments »

Rodeo

Posted by and1grad on March 17, 2009

So now that we’ve had some time to digest the news of T.O. leaving the Cowboys to go to Buffalo. I think its time for examination. First things first, watching T.O. and other football players, etc act like T.O. going to Buffalo isnt a MAJOR step down is not only funny but reinforces why so many ex-jocks are good behind a camera or microphone. Going from playing in Dallas to playing in Buffalo is like leaving the Westin to stay at the DoubleTree. I commend T.O. for forcing that smile and donning the red & blue cap for what will probably be a miserable year for him.

But what about the state of the Cowboys? Cowboys fans, I think its time to be concerned. Jerry Jones is talking like Roy Williams will be your number 1 guy. Um…he wasnt the #1 guy on the lowly Detroit Lions. They gave him up for scraps. Not only that but he played like half the season in Dallas and had like a dozen catches. Kinda makes Patrick Crayton seem like helluva player. I found myself watching games and thinking they’re gonna need to put Crayton in to move the ball…which kinda feels ridiculous. So it looks like a run-heavy offense in your future, which is good, given your RBs never have durability problems WHATSOEVER. Back to Roy Williams, they traded a couple draft picks for him. Draft picks that could’ve been used to help with your sorry O-line situation. It irritates me when I read so many people ripping Romo while almost never commenting that he spends half the game running for his life or throwing a ball with a lineman in his face…or that clutz lineman that always gets false start penalties, which are known drive-killers. Really? I mean, nobody notices that? Or you just dont care…*shrug*

Its also interesting that Jones decided to rid himself of T.O. right before they open up in that huge stadium that he was supposed to help fill. Let me state for the record, I’m not and have never been a T.O. fan…but this wasnt the time to trade him away. It might’ve made more sense to get rid of your lame duck coach and possibly draft some available o-line talent. But get rid of your star player? Probably not.

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Getting a Home Loan is UGH!

Posted by and1grad on March 16, 2009

The process of getting, completing, and processing a home loan has been so incredibly frustrating that I cant put it into words just yet. At least, not anything besides cuss words. But it kinda feels like…

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Flashback Friday: So Whatcha Sayin — EPMD

Posted by and1grad on March 13, 2009

This needs no intro.

Posted in Flashback Friday | 1 Comment »

Stuck In My Head: Hilarious SNL skits

Posted by and1grad on March 8, 2009

These 2 skits just made my day. Hysterical.

I’m Gonna Have Sex With Your Wife

Wii Guys

Posted in Jokey Joke, Stuck In My Head | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Flashback Friday: Regulate — Warren G

Posted by and1grad on March 6, 2009

Gotta just give you the link on this one. Embedding disabled. This one took me back to junior high but it still somehow applies to my job. HA…dig that.

Posted in Flashback Friday | 1 Comment »

More Chrihanna news

Posted by and1grad on March 5, 2009

Search Warrant & Affidavit

Posted in Celebrity | 2 Comments »