My Radio

My attempts to channel what's playing on the many stations of my mind

The Influence of Culture (part 3)

Posted by and1grad on October 18, 2010

In the last 2 blogs, I’ve talked about the establishment of societal norms, how I believe they came to be societal norms, and the apparent impact of the evolution of gender roles. I mentioned how this impact seems to be especially illustrated in the Black family/community. In the Black community, we’re seeing more single-parent households than the norm and we’re also seeing more of our successful Black women remain single for longer than they probably should. I believe the evolution of gender roles plays a part in this due to the fact that they are no longer clearly defined. A man isn’t clearly going to be the breadwinner anymore and its up to both genders to learn how to deal with this possibility. Its not as simple as saying, “Yeah, it wouldn’t bother me if that were the case” because most likely, it will…to varying degrees of course.

I left off with the simplest of questions, “what’s the answer?” Plenty of answers have already been visited upon by numerous “relationship experts.” Think like a Man. Act like sheep. Blame White women. Date inter-racially. The list goes on and on. I cant offer you a simple answer. If I knew it, I damn sure wouldn’t be offering it up for free on a blog. I’d take my talents to South Beach. Here’s one thing I AM comfortable telling you though. Stop listening to “experts.” No one is an expert on you but…you. Imagine that.

But if you’re REALLY hurting for a piece of advice, here’s what I tell people. Somewhere in your life, in the present or past, you’ve stumbled across a couple that looks like they have what you aspire to have. Might be a close friend, an acquaintance…might even be your parents. I call them “relationship role models.” Ask them why their relationship works. Emulate some of what they do. If that sounds crazy to you, ask yourself what it is you did to become who you are. More than likely, you had a role model that you used as something of a blueprint to success…or at least as a way to avoid failure. Why wouldn’t relationships work the same way?

But hey, that’s just one man’s opinion. I am not an “expert”…*Big Pun voice* but I know a lot.

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One Response to “The Influence of Culture (part 3)”

  1. Alright Big Pun… lol. Well, if you’re into reading books. You should definitely check out “No More Mister Nice Guy” by Robert Glover (I just talked about some of it on my last post http://primarythoughts.net/2010/11/08/are-you-a-nice-guy/). When I wrote this piece I know part of my influence was also from Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap. I’m pretty sure you can preview both of these on amazon un-paraphrased. Anyway both give a breakdown of what you are discussing in regards to American history. Dr. Glover speaks about it’s impact on males specifically. Between the two it went from the biological to societal influences and left me like… WOW. Even though Glover’s is a self-help book for men, it gave me a lot of understanding into men and how to steer clear of much of the nonsense. I was definitely a “Nice Guy” magnet and dater. Forever, Six… 😛

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