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Archive for the ‘30 Rock’ Category

30 Rock: 1st Quarter Report

Posted by and1grad on January 27, 2009

As of this Friday, I’ll have eased my way into 3 months of Version 3.0 so I feel its time for a report on the haps and mishaps of the model.

First things first. I’m getting both darker AND hairier. This is some bullshit. I dont need ANY MORE PIGMENT! I’m good! I’m easing my way out of a cool “Snickers” brown and into “Batman” territory and I dont like it!! OH and the kicker…its just my face. The rest…still brown. Awesome. What am I, a lycan? Am I transforming into one of those Egyptian Gods? Well..the way my knees have been acting, I wont need a cool power staff…just a cane. 30…with a gotdamn cane. I digress. I mention hairier but make no mistake, I am by no means a hairy beast. I just notice my coat is slightly fuller than it used to be and my head and facial grow faster now. Again, I dont like it. Facial hair is a pain in the proverbial ass.

Back to my knee. Joints are the wackness. I’m hearing lil pops in joints when I work out or stretch and all that. My GOOD knee has started giving on me even. MY GOOD KNEE!! The fact that I even HAVE a “good” knee is annoying. If my good knee no longer qualifies as good…well…I’m fuct. No way around it. You know what, fuck joints. Give me a couple good hinges and some monkey grease and I’ll make this shit happen my damn self. Before I get to the point where my morning stretch sounds like popcorn is almost ready.

Lets get to some good things. My credit is lights out. And its hilarious b/c when stores/people check my credit for whatever reason, they come back all smiles and cheese and want to offer me something to drink now. They’re all calling me all the time and shit now. “Let me know if you have any further interest with us, and1!” Its handshakes and looking me in the eye now…rather than assuming its the person behind me’s turn for service while I stand there in their face. Its beautiful. I was even able to go see President Barack Obama get sworn in. That was a moment to be cherished and I was THERE. Dig that.

Oh, I’m FINALLY too old for the club. Which is GREAT b/c I’ve NEVER liked the club scene and now I have a fantastic reason not to go. Hell, I’m still annoyed that “lounge” is just code for a club with a sofa or 2 in it. Anyway, another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m becoming a LOT more tolerant to other viewpoints, which is the opposite of what I thought was/would be happening. Figured I’d become one of those “my way or the highway” types but its practically the exact opposite. I’m still the “easy like Sunday Morning,” go with the flow type. I find that I’m in less of a hurry, in general. Or maybe I’m just slower. *wink*

So…these are things that I’ve been noticing as I’ve transitioned into and began Version 3.0. All things considered…so far, so good.


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The Year of The Rock

Posted by and1grad on January 2, 2009

Thus begins the saga that is 2009. You ever have one of those feelings that a certain is going to be important? I feel like this is one of those years. There’s the obvious reasons: Whats up, Obama!; my first home (I’ll touch on that later); version 3.0….but there’s another feeling I get. The one where I feel like…its time for me to turn it up a notch. Feels like I’ve been coasting, in general, for the last 2 or 3 years. Just doing enough to get by. Not challenging myself as much as I could…yet expecting the results due only to those that do so. I always try to remember the phrase “Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.” I havent been working hard enough. And b/c of that, I’m letting people that I SHOULD outshine, outshine me. Enough is enough.

So because of that, I’m calling this year, The Year of The Rock. I dont know how many of you followed wrestling in the late 90s, early 2000s but The Rock was THE MAN. “The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment.” “The People’s Champion.” The dude was big business. Thats why he has been able to transition to movies better than any other pro wrestler ever has. So I’m taking a page out of The Rock’s book. The Rock’s favorite phrase was “Just Bring It.” THIS is what I need to do. Stop TALKING the talk and start WALKING it.

So when I was asked, at about 12:10am on New Year’s morning, what was my resolution for the year…I simply said “Do More.” Yes, it is general. Its supposed to be. I need to do more, in general. More at work, more socially…just more. Shout out to HauteinLA b/c we had the EXACT same resolution. Clean up more, work out more, GO out more…I’ve allowed my tv to become some kind of electronic babysitter and thats ridiculous. Enough is enough. I need to get out of the house…oh…speaking of…

I bought a house yall. How CRAZY is that? First time homebuyer. Signed the agreements on New Year’s Eve as a matter of fact. I’ll close escrow in mid-March. It was time. As most of you know, its a buyer’s market out there. I’ve been house hunting, passively, for over a year now and I’d never gotten that FEEL. Some of you know what I’m saying. Its the feel you get when you jump in a car you’re thinking about getting or even something like a pair of shoes. You know when its right. Thats the feel when I went through the model for this home. I just knew. And thank goodness b/c I’m sick of apartments. Sick of having the DMV change my address every other year and all that shit. Sick of lugging groceries up a flight of steps…from my car that I park outside. “Sick of Versace glasses, sick of slang. I’m sick of half-assed award shows, sick of name brand clothes…” Sorry, had a De La moment. Might have to remember that for the next Flashback Friday.

So, “Jabroni, The Rock says this…” its time to DO more. The challenge is to be better. The hope is to be able to look back at the end of the year and say that I’ve met it. Wish me luck.

Posted in 30 Rock, Obama | Tagged: | 5 Comments »

A month in…

Posted by and1grad on December 2, 2008

So now that I’ve been 30 for slightly over a month, I’ve noticed a couple things.

1) Parents are in full-blitz mode. I’m talking the Ravens defense in their prime and I just have a bunch of rookies as my offensive linemen…and the Ravens know what play I’m about to run. I got so many lectures about grandkids that having an illegitimate child or claiming erectile dysfunction are both starting to sound like viable ideas. Stay posted.

2) It is no longer cool to have a hot song as my ringtone. Its weird and I’m embarrassed when my phone rings. So…thus ends that time in my life. Its gonna be the default ring or vibrate for me.

3) I’m misplacing things that dont get misplaced. 2 weeks ago, I damn near went into cardiac arrest when I couldnt find my ipod. Right now, where the fuck is my iron? My iron? How do you lose an iron? I even lost the little water thing to pour water into it. What the damn!?!? Luckily, I have like 4 irons or I’d be really pissed. By the way, to the friend that lent me that iron….I think I lost your iron.

4) I’m getting less lazy about cleaning up. Not that I was ever a true slob but this last month, I’ve been cleaning up after myself to a degree not known since I lived with the matriarch. I still dont make the bed tho. Eff that shit.

I guess one thing for every week that I’ve been 30 is good enough. Please feel free to add others.

Posted in 30 Rock | 10 Comments »

What have you learned, Charlie Brown?

Posted by and1grad on October 31, 2008

I was thinking this morning about how I’ve now turned 30 and I’ve been wondering what I’ve learned over this past 3 decades that I would be inclined to share with people. I think by the time you’ve reached 30, you’ve learned a lot of life lessons. Some the easy way…a good number of them, the hard way. I didnt really make a list ahead of time so I’m just gonna shoot from the hip here. Also, these are just my own theories so feel free to comment on them.

#1. You dont know everything and you arent supposed to.
I really think that once people realize that they are NOT omniscient, they start to become more openminded and become more able to learn things that they dont know. Once they start thinking their experts, they stop listening to what ANYONE has to say. I know I can be guilty of this SOMETIMES. *cough*

#2. Take care of the people that love you…or dont.
But if you dont, dont complain if/when you find yourself alone. If there are people in your life that are special to you, make sure they know it every once in a while.

#3. Listen to your parents.
A lot of what your parents tell you is right b/c a lot of what happens in the world is functionally similar to what has happened before. “History always repeats itself.” Your parents are advising you b/c they’ve seen/been through some version of what you’re going through already. It may not be an identical situation…just remixed. I’m not saying do whatever they say. I’m just saying hear them out.

#4. Education is an exercise of discipline more than it is of intelligence.
This is a theory I learned in college. You will come across a lot of people who seem intellectually subpar but will get fantastic grades in school. This is b/c they know how to work. By that I mean putting in the time it takes to ensure a desired result. A lot of people are smart but lazy. What good comes from that? Be smart enough to work hard.

#5. Its not what you know, its who you know.
This is common knowledge to most in the working world. Networking is how you advance in this world. What you actually know, is a bonus. Be smart enough to put your name out in circulation and doors will open JUST ENOUGH for you to get your foot in and prove yourself.

#6. Presentation is everything.
This one speaks to both the social and working world. How you present yourself is how people will see you. How you present material is more important than the actual content. Examples of this are omnipresent. Pay attention, you’ll see it.

#7. Believe in yourself.
The matriarch used to always tell me “If you dont believe in yourself, how can you expect someone to believe in you?” So simple and so true. Trust yourself to make even the toughest of decisions…and then make them. Know that you’re able to make a decision that you’re willing to live with. This knowledge alone is freeing and when you believe in yourself, people wont be able to help but believe in you.

#8. Make an impact.
This is actually a self-motto for me and one of my life-long goals in terms of a legacy. I want to make an impact, in some regard, in whatever I do, whomever I know, and so on. In my opinion, one of the best legacies you can leave in life is knowing you had a positive effect on somebody. I hope I’m able to fulfill that, myself.

#9. You’re crazy.
Its a crazy world out there and more than likely its made you a little crazy also. You HAVE to be a little crazy to be able to survive. I say embrace that inner Gnarls Barkley, just slightly now, and realize that normalcy is as much of a myth as perfection.

#10. Find something to laugh at.
Taking #9 into account, you dont want to COMPLETELY lose your mind. Laughing helps keep some of your sanity by relieving stress. So rather than get frustrated at all of the mind-boggling things that happen in this crazy world, laugh at some of it. Some things are simply absurd and are fodder for ridicule. So take a “The Daily Show with John Stewart” outlook on the world and laugh at some of these absurdities. You’ll find that they wont bother you as much the next time.

I’m sure there’s more but thats all that come to mind at the moment. Please feel free to comment and/or add some others that you’ve learned. I do have another theory which I call “The Theory of Circles” but I’ll have to get to that another time.

Posted in 30 Rock, Education | 4 Comments »

Birthday Boy — 1900 hours

Posted by and1grad on October 30, 2008

Captain’s Log:

This birthday is winding down in a melancholy way. It started raining sometime this afternoon. I didnt figure on it raining until tomorrow so I was, of course, unprepared. They say it raining on your birthday is a good omen. I hope so…b/c otherwise this day has been a lil “meh.”

Wound up having to ride the bike home…in the rain. Sweet. Did I mention I was wearing the suede Jordans today? So they got drenched. Awesome. And the ticket I got a couple weekends ago, came in the mail today. Wow…somebody get me a party hat!

But on a happy note…let me remind you folks that I share a birthday with…


The Fonz!! Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeee!!!!!

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Birthday Boy — 1400 hours

Posted by and1grad on October 30, 2008

Captain’s Log:

Already I’m tired. Work is kicking my butt. And there’s only more of it to go. Finishing will be a testament to willpower as the work is crazy boring and monotonous. Thank goodness for lunchtime.

My coworkers and I celebrate by going to The Melting Pot, which is this cool fondue place. We get the vegetarian and finish off with their dessert, which is awesome. Melted milk chocolate with peanut butter mixed in. The dipping foods consist of pound cake, strawberries, bananas, marshmallows (wrapped in oreo), brownie, and rice krispie treats. Ladies and gentlemen, we ate like royalty. Dig that.

Two and a half hour lunch…why not?

Posted in 30 Rock, Birthday Boy | 4 Comments »

Birthday Boy — 0900 hours

Posted by and1grad on October 30, 2008

“The saga begins
My eye is a photography lens…”

This is how thirty begins. I get up, get out the house, hop on the bike, and the freeway is jammed like a mosh pit. Not even for a good reason, like an accident, but apparently b/c people get confused at on ramps. “Wait, you want get on freeway? Let me brake…hard. What, that no work? Lemme speed up at the exact same time and amount that you speed up. That work good.” After I watch 2 big rigs go by, I’m finally able to hop out of that line and get to work.

As soon as I get to work, I realize that I forgot my badge. Damn…thirty is starting out kinda tough. But then I got a call from “twin” and some texts from my people and I feel right as rain now. Thanks yall. I appreciate the love. I appreciate you.

Thirty has started and a brotha like me…is ready.

Posted in 30 Rock, Birthday Boy | 4 Comments »

My Theme

Posted by and1grad on October 29, 2008

I’m gonna start my 30s with this…my quintessential song. I think everyone has that song that just speaks to them. Like if there were a song that could define me…this would be it.

Posted in 30 Rock, Birthday Boy | 1 Comment »

Seven ’til

Posted by and1grad on October 23, 2008

On the seventh day til 30, my parents gave to me….

Ok, enough Xmas carols. So my parents surprised me and sent me some gifts for my b’day. I’d told them not to send anything…but you know how it is with parents. They send a package…with a brand new watch inside. How cool is that? Its a cool watch but I’m a lil conflicted about it. I’m kinda a name brand guy and this isnt what I would normally get for myself. But I’m gonna wear it anyway since its a gift.

Big Check

I also got a really cool card and Mom put a check in it. We going to Sizzler!! Seriously tho, I feel spoiled right about now. Or like I’m retiring after my 25, or 30, years on the job. Which, in a weird way, is apropos. Definitely brightened what had become pretty much a turd of a day.

Posted in 30 Rock | 4 Comments »

And then, there were 30

Posted by and1grad on September 30, 2008

Days that is. Thirty days until I turn 30. Woah. Oddly enough, this is a year I’ve been looking forward to for a lil while now. I rarely look forward to birthdays but I’ve just had a good feeling about 30. That said, I had a good feeling about 25…and nothing. Where do I get off being excited about 30? Well, I’ve always said that I’m gonna hit 30 running. Get in better shape. Get my money right. Just turn it up a notch in general. Might be buying a house this year. I’m steadily advancing in my chosen profession. Things are good…but they could be better. Maybe I’ll get to celebrate it by watching Obama win the Presidency. I think 30 aka Version 3.0 is gonna be something to see. Cant wait to get started.

Posted in 30 Rock | 6 Comments »