My Radio

My attempts to channel what's playing on the many stations of my mind

Archive for the ‘Gender’ Category

The Influence of Culture (part 2)

Posted by and1grad on October 13, 2010

In my last post, I talked about the impact of biology on societal norms. These biological influences created a society where certain gender roles became established and are prevalent as a “social norm.” Men are the providers, women are the nurturers. The formula is simple…or it used to be. In our current culture, the ability to provide for your family is directly proportional to your ability to amass wealth. This is usually done by obtaining a skill that you can put to use either for yourself or for an employer. These skills are varied and the amount of wealth you can obtain by developing/displaying are just as varied. The established gender roles provided a framework for how families functioned, which influenced how communities functioned, etc. The flaw in the design is that the framework was set up so that it would be limiting to women and minorities, affecting the ability of their families to provide for themselves. People needed to evolve.
Read the rest of this entry »


Posted in Gender, Life, Relationships | 1 Comment »

The Influence Of Culture

Posted by and1grad on October 12, 2010

What actually IS the spectrum of cultural influence? What is the impetus that drives societal norms and are those norms solely the result of cultural influence? I find that these questions seem to be consistently answered the same way whenever I read about the impact of societal norms on the population, at large.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Gender, Life, Relationships | Leave a Comment »

The Pretty Girl/Hobo Conundrum (My Radio replay)

Posted by and1grad on June 11, 2010

The Pretty Girl/Hobo Conundrum Throughout the years, I have CONSTANTLY heard, from women, about how women are approached by dopes for their phone numbers, dates, etc. I’m sure most men are bombarded with these stories as well. It usually entails some unsuspecting fine lady minding her own business and being approached by some dude under the guise of conversation. Both parties know the underlying cause of why this conversation has started or at least have a decent idea. The pre … Read More

via My Radio

Posted in Dating, Gender, Jokey Joke, Life | Leave a Comment »

In The Spotlight

Posted by and1grad on April 24, 2010

With the exception of the obligatory attention paid to holidays and civil rights issues and/or celebrations, minorities are largely ignored in the media. Especially with respect to social issues. Frankly, minorities have to work OT to get issues that only affect their non-white ethnicity to get any REAL publicity. This vast discrepancy encompasses all facets of society and is recognized by many but acknowledged by few. It is common knowledge.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Black, Gender | Leave a Comment »

Public Service Announcement: The Full Nelson

Posted by and1grad on November 9, 2009

Say you and your women are arguing and its getting physical. You, of course, dont want to put hands on her and she isnt letting you get away to clear your head. Fellas, I recommend the Full Nelson. The damage done is minimal. MOST people dont know how to get out of it…and it makes your woman look kinda silly if you feel like laughing about the situation later. Maybe you can grind on her butt a little during, if you want, but thats a you-call.

Would we be hearing about Chris & Rihanna had Chris put her in one of these? I think not.

Posted in Gender, Jokey Joke, PSA | Leave a Comment »

When The Music Stops

Posted by and1grad on November 7, 2009

People would rather sit around taking sides than discuss the realities of actual and potential domestic violence.

Last night, on 20/20, many people watched Rihanna discuss the altercation between her and Chris Brown.  If you are SOMEHOW unfamiliar with the story, Chris Brown damn near beat Rihanna’s face in for reasons that I’m still unsure of.  I honestly dont think that matters.  Fact is, a man SHOULD NEVER hit a woman.  I was on twitter, as I normally am (@and1grad), and I saw a LOT of dialogue, mainly from women, during the episode.  The topic of domestic violence always elicits an emotional response BUT what I saw was so OD, I almost felt forced to make the above quoted comment.  To most of the women I am following, if you had ANYTHING negative, or somehow critical, to say about Rihanna, you were essentially in favor of domestic violence.  Or you thought it was ok that he hit her for whatever reason.  Some women seemed to be acting like Rihanna was practically a superhero for what she said last night and were recklessly KILLING Chris Brown for having talked about it earlier.  I even heard some insane nonsense about how she must be telling the truth because she sounded so much more composed or whatever.  I’m sorry but you have to be brand new to the world to believe that.  Not that I think Rihanna was lying (she might’ve been about some stuff), but if you think the truth always sounds better than a smooth ass lie, you’re probably either lying to yourself or extremely gullible.

If Rihanna continues to be an advocate for domestic violence when she isn’t promoting an album, then I will have respect for her. — @eb-the-celeb

I purposely did not watch the Rihanna interview and only saw clips of Chris Brown’s interview with Larry King, where everyone OD’d on his bowtie.  Ok, Rihanna finally spoke up.  Good for her.  But if you’re expecting me to fall all over myself acting like she’s some kinda advocate for women’s rights…#fail.  The fact that she’s doing all of this now that she has an album coming out is so egregiously self-serving that it kills her credibility.  Some of yall can eat that shit up if you want but she could’ve said ANYTHING MONTHS ago.  The fact that she went right back to him after he beat her also killed some sympathy in me.  I also hear that this wasnt the first incident of them beating on each other.  Just the worst.  And then I’m supposed to believe all this awareness junk NOW?  Now that she’s got an album to push?  Sorry but that would make me a fool and if YOU are choosing to be one, have at it.  I’ll pass.

But this brings me to the crux of this post.  This has all become just useless fingerpointing as opposed to discussing the realities of domestic violence.  Fingerpointing is a lot more fun but lets be real here.  Domestic violence is a terrible phenomenon that goes on WAY more than reported and is, in fact, a two-sided affair.  Although, its only taken seriously when a man is the culprit.  Like I said earlier, a man should never hit a woman.  I emphasized should and never earlier for a reason.  That is IDEAL.  The REALITY is it COULD happen to the best of us.  I dont believe there’s very many men that intend on hitting a woman but I DO know that there are a LOT more people who react without thinking than the converse. 

So in the interest of having a PRODUCTIVE conversation, lets toss out the outliers of a man that commonly hits a woman and a woman that commonly beats on a man.  Lets assume we have two normal, average people who get into a verbal argument that is escalating out of control.  Most of us know to what level we’re ready to push an altercation before we back up, leave, digest the situation, reflect, and then reapproach.  The reality is that isnt always going to happen.  Lets say in this scenario, that the argument got physical.  Literally, unless the woman attacks a guy with a weapon, the man is AUTOMATICALLY at fault in this situation.  Double standards aside, men know this as an understood aspect of society.  HOWEVER, some women seem to take this as either a way to excuse a woman’s accountability in an abusive relationship, OR as a way to blame the women entirely for everything.  Why is it so difficult to stay in between? 

Sometimes women hit men. I have no idea whether or not it is as common as a man hitting a woman and I’m not about to theorize on that.  However, it is NOT taken anywhere NEAR as seriously.  In fact, if people see a woman hitting a man, they assume he’s deserved it.  Also, its pretty widely accepted, by men, in society that if you let your woman beat on you or report her to the police over it, you are a punk.  The balance of the way domestic violence is viewed is tremendously skewed.  But it should be.  Men have a far greater capacity of inflicting damage on a woman than the reverse.  The responsibility behind that fact branches out to both parties though.  It seems like some women believe that if they hit you, you should just leave or restrain them.  I dont advocate for that in a real life situation because that isnt always going to happen.  I would hope that most men would do that but some MIGHT be inclined to clear out a woman’s dental situation if she is swinging on him.  THAT can happen to the best-intentioned of us.

Let me use myself as an example.  I have never had the desire, as an adult, to get into a fight with another person, male or female, over an argument.  That whole phenomena is almost foreign to me.  I look at it, mainly, in 2 ways.  First, I’m a grown up.  Fisticuffs seems childish to me.  Second, I dont think you should hit someone and not be completely expectant of them hitting you back.  That said, you aint gonna just beat on me.  Not without SEVERE repercussions.  That doesnt make me a monster.  It makes me a human being. 

This is becoming entirely too long so let me address one last thing.  There are some women who are of the “I wish a nig would” mentality.  Let me disavow you of that absurd mentality.  No you dont wish that.  More than likely, any man you deal with is going to be at least twice as strong as you.  Do not attempt to fight him.  If a man has/is hitting you, get the hell out of there.  Fellas, if you need to hit something, find an inanimate object or take up boxing or something.  Nobody wins in a physical altercation.  Take whatever steps necessary to avoid it at all costs.

Is there anything I missed on this topic? Did you watch the Chris Brown and/or Rihanna interviews? What do YOU think?

Posted in Celebrity, Gender, Relationships | Leave a Comment »

Pet Peeves: Women who think they’re inherently superior to men

Posted by and1grad on November 3, 2009

This is one of my all time pet peeves. I recently read a comment that made a statement that essentially said that women are mentally superior to men. I’m SO TIRED of women who believe that they are mentally superior simply b/c they are female. (Yes this would apply to men too but I’m talking about women here) These people simply amaze me. Every man is simple and YOU’RE complex, right? Please. Its these same women that associate with simple ass men and then complain about it later. Hang around a higher caliber of person that challenges you mentally. They arent THAT hard to find. If you havent found that in the opposite sex, its b/c you’ve chosen to be around those who dont challenge you in that way. Thats a you problem.

These people annoy me to no end.

Posted in Gender, Pet Peeve | Leave a Comment »

A LITTLE discrimination

Posted by and1grad on October 21, 2009

I guess I’m going to keep on in the vein of discrimination, real or imagined. Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time listening to who is being discriminated against. Black men vs. Black women; Morehouse vs transgenders…but no one has the GUTS to address THIS!!! Well, ladies and gentlemen, I. DO.

Women, PARTICULARLY minorities, BLATANTLY discriminate against short men. Its outrageous! A short man, almost universally, can NOT catch a break with women. The craziest part is that these women are normally not tall themselves. How are you 5’3 and need your man to be 6’2? That makes zero sense. What, do you want to be headbutting his belly button every time you go for a hug? The WORST are the women who have to take their (FRAUDULENT) height addition of their heels into consideration. “He needs to be 3 inches taller than I am when I decide to wear these tall ass heels that I will invariably complain about to him later b/c they make my feet hurt.” Why do you want your men to be so overwhelmingly bigger than you? Why dont more people think thats odd and/or ridiculous? Tall men, why do you want to dwarf your women? I feel like a babysitter when I’m hanging around women who are shorter than 5’3 and I’m not absurdly tall.

I’ll tell you one thing. Should I have boys, I’m gonna have them playing basketball, not just because I love the sport but because I know that if they arent tall, they will STRUGGLE to get a woman’s attention. To women, if you arent AT LEAST 5’10”, you’re short. These same women can barely SNIFF 5’6″. Really? The guy thats actually TALLER than YOU is too short? What about the amazons? [I consider a woman an amazon once she hits 5’9″ and up.] They have to find men too. And the pixies are taking them all!! LMAO! (Sorry, it always cracks me up when I hear tall women complain about that #kanyeshrug)

Back to short men. Short guys are discriminated against all through LIFE itself. They’re rarely ever picked first in sports, unless they’re crazy fast. You’re actually EXPECTED to be fast if you’re short. That itself is unfair. Especially since they have such little legs…I kid. They have to look around tall people who might be standing or sitting in front. Thats no fun. What about all the short jokes dopes like me might tell? Short minorities might have the best argument of discrimination there is. All these other guys are depicted as athletes and soldiers and such.

Short guys are depicted as this guy:

I’m just saying. Its a tough world, if you’re short. Cant women, who are LARGELY of that height or shorter, give these guys a break!?!? Damn!!

Posted in Dating, Discrimination, Gender | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

Gender Wage Gap? Please.

Posted by and1grad on October 21, 2009

Every once in a while, I hear an argument spread, and co-signed, that irritates my very last nerve. This CRAP about women still earning 70 cents to the male dollar. I’m SO sick and tired of this FRAUDULENT stat and the people who mindlessly co-sign it without putting ANY kind of thought into the validity of the stat. So many men seem too afraid, or too dumb, to refute it for fear that they might be called a chauvinist. Thats lame. Dont just agree with something simply b/c someone tells it to you or simply b/c its the party line. We’re better than that. Lets put a little common sense to this stat.

“A study of the gender wage gap conducted by economist June O’ Neill, former director of the Congressional Budget Office, found that women earn 98 percent of what men do when controlled for experience, education, and number of years on the job.”  — Gender Wage Gap Is Feminist Fiction

Simply put, women are more likely to take lower paying jobs than men. An example is that men are more likely to take higher risk jobs (i.e. fire fighter) and women are more likely to take lower risk (i.e. secretarial). These factors have such an effect on this 70 cent stat that its disingenuous to not mention it in lieu of presenting the stat itself. There’s maternity leave, there’s the fact that women are more likely to be stay-at-home parents, and many seem to be of the opinion that women are less likely to ask for/demand a raise. Knowing this, how can people WILLINGLY continue to cosign this junk stat? Personally, I’d be willing to bet that, if it were possible to normalize these factors into the equation, women would be doing QUITE WELL in this comparison.

“The “wage gap” is not so much about employers discriminating against women as about women making discriminating choices in the labor market.” — The Wage Gap Myth


What do YOU believe?

Posted in Discrimination, Economy, Equality, Gender | Leave a Comment »

The Effect of Sotomayor

Posted by and1grad on July 13, 2009

I just finished watching a part of the Congressional Hearings for the nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court. FINALLY, I got a chance to hear her speak for herself in terms of her experience and qualifications. Between now and when her nomination was first announced, I’ve been reticent to have any distinct opinion on her nomination. I recognize it as a great moment for Hispanics and women, in general, but otherwise, I didnt know what to think of her specifically. So much has been said that would give you both positive and negative views on her. I couldnt tell what to believe and I wonder how much of the public was also left not knowing what to think.

Judge Sotomayor’s address was brief and understated. I think she is waiting to do more speaking when she’s answering direct questions from the Senators. What I learned, mainly from other Senators’ introductory remarks, is that her resume is impeccable. Her education is immaculate and her experience is impressive. There’s something to be said for someone to work both in the public sector and in the business sector. You could go on and on about her resume, what her detractors say, whats fact, whats fiction, etc. etc. etc. I’m not going into all of that. My main interest right now, is her upbringing, and specifically, her mother.

Celina Sotomayor, herself, is a story of the triumph of strength and determination over adversity the likes of which few will ever see. I would only be plagiarizing in any attempt to recount her story but its easily found and has many times been stated by her daughter. The part that I learned about today was how she not only provided the material for her children to learn but studied WITH THEM herself. That seems so obvious now, given the fact that she went from being a telephone operator to becoming a nurse, after her children were born, but think about the motivation provided by a mother not only preaching the investment of education to her children but also being engaged in it herself. Is there a better way to cement that idea than that? I dont know of one.

The stories of remarkable women, such as the Sotomayors, remain part of the very fabric of what makes this country so great. For me, they are a reminder of the saying “Tough times dont last, tough people do.” The reward of presenting such an example for your own children to follow is sometimes not just watching them achieve, but watching them pay tribute to you as they go about setting an example for a nation to follow. A legacy.

To Sonia Sotomayor, I salute your accomplishments and I’m sure you’ll make an excellent Supreme Court Justice.

To Celina Sotomayor, I pay tribute.

Posted in Gender | Tagged: | 3 Comments »