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Archive for the ‘People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face’ Category

People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face: David Stern & NBA Refs

Posted by and1grad on May 24, 2010

David Stern

Time to re-institute the “People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face series.  Beginning with David Stern, NBA commissioner.

First, let me give Stern his due.  He’s done an impressive job expanding the league into different markets, especially overseas markets.  The league, for the most part, puts a quality product on the floor for public consumption and I honestly think the rule forcing players to ATTEMPT to look professional was very well-intentioned.  However, his missteps have, at times, been so egregious that it boggles the mind. And they all have been almost COMPLETELY under his control or, at the least, are influenced by his actions and inactions.

The latest of which is the fining of Mark Cuban & Steve Kerr for mentioning anything involving the Lebron-A-Thon.  This is absurd because Stern ALSO mentioned something involving Lebron and as far as I can tell, he did not fine himself for doing so.  So…do as I say, not as I do?  Lame.  And acting like he doesnt encourage teams going crazy about trying to add LBJ as a player?  Please. Read the rest of this entry »

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People Who Need to be Punched in the Face: Somali pirates

Posted by and1grad on April 14, 2009

Dear Somali pirates,
You really want to paint yourselves as the new global terrorists, maritime version? Sounds like a good idea, does it? All the countries in Africa STRUGGLING to get their shit together and you mu’fuckas wanna pull this shit. This country…that spent decades with its hand out b/c they were starving..now they run, scratch that…float, around shooting automatic rifles and RPGs at boats minding their own? The one in which they kidnapped (shanghai’d?) Capt. Phillips was on its way to deliver U.N. food aid to East Africa.

Pirates, I sincerely hope the amount of justice leveled at you for these crimes is so overwhelming that the rest of the world actually sympathizes and believes you were treated harshly.

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People Who Need to be Punched in the Face: A Commentary on the “Bonds’ personal trainer ordered to court” article

Posted by and1grad on February 23, 2009

This article reads as follows:
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SAN FRANCISCO — A federal judge has ordered Barry Bonds’ personal trainer, Greg Anderson, to court to disclose whether he intends to testify at the slugger’s trial next month.

U.S. District Judge Susan Illston scheduled a hearing for Wednesday morning and ordered the U.S. Marshals Service to tell Anderson and provide him with transportation, if needed.

The judge has barred prosecutors from using key evidence, such as positive steroids tests, at Bonds’ March 2 trial unless Anderson testifies.

Anderson has said through his attorney he will refuse to testify, and he may be sent to prison on contempt of court charges.

Anderson was sent to prison after refusing to testify about Bonds before a federal grand jury in 2006.

—————–

I have a couple issues with this whole Bonds situation. The first is this: Who cares? Proving perjury is difficult as it is…why are they so hellbent on putting Bonds in jail? What purpose do they intend for it to serve? Does ANYONE really think they are still acting in the interest of the people here? Or is it quite obvious to everyone (as it SHOULD be) that they have a vendetta against Bonds and/or are staking their reputation on their ability to prosecute them? They’ve gone past the point where they look like fools and are now, in my opinion, moving onto the point where they are performing a public disservice. At what point do they stop WASTING man-hours and public money just to put a guy in jail for using steroids? How bout we go back to putting REAL criminals in jail, rather than athletes just for the sake of proving a stupid point? And if I can expand beyond Bonds for a second, what purpose was served by putting Marion Jones in jail? What purpose was served by putting Michael Vick in jail? What purpose would be served by trying and subsequently putting Roger Clemens in jail? THIS is a priority? Really? I digress.

My other beef with this situation is this: How many times are they gonna put Greg Anderson in jail for this? Seriously. This is legal? How? Why is it legal to continually put a man in jail for not testifying on behalf of your case? Shouldnt there be SOME form of double jeopardy law that renders this illegal? At what point do we accuse the feds of acting in an unlawful manner? I thought legally you couldnt force someone to testify anyway. But I guess you can say he’s in “contempt of court” and keep him in jail for months at a time. Lame.

Because of all this, I think the folks ATTEMPTING to prosecute Barry Bonds should be punched in the face. Preferably by Greg Anderson and his entire family.

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People Who Need to be Punched in the Face: Today Show

Posted by and1grad on February 19, 2009

Yes, I did. All four of this bunch really…I mean REALLY…need to be punched in the face. I’m sorry. They just do. ESPECIALLY the lead man in front. Matt Lauer. I struggle to type b/c my fists are clenching. Knuckles need to meet this man’s dental situation. Is there a bigger asshole interviewer than this guy? I can only think of one and he may make the series as well. Its not that every question he asks makes you wanna come at his throat…just that he will eventually ask the interviewee a question that you KNOW they cant answer w/o setting themselves up to look bad or eventually be wrong or called a liar. That shit drives me crazy.

Next on my list…Al Roker. Oh you are a sonofabitch, arent you Al? With your gastric bypass havin’….look, even today…this dude browbeats some young lady’s Dad to let her have earrings on national TV. If Dad doesnt want her to have earrings, why are you interfering? Keep your parenting advice to “your neck of the woods.” And stop grinning so gotdamn much. Not every sentence or comment is a funny one.

My beef with Meredith Viera is minor. She was the only one on The View that I thought wasnt batshit crazy. Her leaving, while good for her career and sanity, left that show w/o ANY form of level-headedness WHATSOEVER. I used to like The View. Now I consider it a greasefire. Thats YOUR fault Meredith. That said, I would like it if you were the one to punch Lauer right in the dome. And maybe headbutt him in the temple too.

Ann Curry, as I go on, I think I’m gonna give you a pass. They send Ann out to do some BULLshit, dont they? Her and Al. “Hey we need a piece on skydiving into a war zone…send Ann.” Your life insurance bill must be OUTrageous. Ann may be most likely to GET punched in the face than anyone on this show.

Not shown in this pic:
Diane Sawyer, you are the female Matt Lauer. Everything that goes for him, applies to you and that little dumbfounded look you like to give after you ask the most inane of the asinine questions you tend to line up for interviewees. I’d like to see J.Lo, the Enough version, just belt you one. Already, I can picture it in my mind and I love it. If only that could happen…Today.

Robin Roberts. Robin Roberts is SO cool that if you dont like her, YOU should be punched in the face. Preferably while you’re about to take a bite out of your lunch or snack and arent looking. Like that SNL skit…which by the way is the inspiration for this series. (Fun fact!)

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People Who Need to be Punched in the Face — Chris Brown

Posted by and1grad on February 9, 2009

This is a debut of a series of posts I hope to maintain on this blog. There are a shitload of people who I feel REALLY need to be punched in the face. The reasons are normally obvious but other times they’re being absurd and really should be put down for a couple minutes.

So my Inaugural episode of People Who Need to be Punched in the Face starts with…

Mr. Chris Brown. Its already IMPOSSIBLY lame to punch a woman but to punch her over what is apparently SUCH a lame reason. You should be beaten to the ground. And this punk motherfucker had the nerve to be on Sesame Street and doublemint gum commercials. I told people that “Its gon’ be me, you, and the dance floor” is just REALLY terrible tough talk. Turns out its fitting in a way none of us realized.

Chris Brown, I hope you get wailed on.

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