My Radio

My attempts to channel what's playing on the many stations of my mind

Posts Tagged ‘Men’s Health’

I CAN Quit You

Posted by and1grad on February 18, 2009


Dear Men’s Health,
Today marks the last day of our pseudo-relationship. I’ve been a loyal customer for a few years now and still believe you transmit a quality product, BUT…the shit has gone too far. Maybe a year and a half ago, while listening to The Herd with Colin Cowherd, I was introduced to the opinion that your magazines have become tailored to gay men. Of course, I scoffed at this. I mean, how ridiculous…its a fitness magazine that has several highlights about relationships with women and whatnot. I remember this so vividly b/c I had just received my new issue in the mail the day before hearing this episode of The Herd and had it with me. I open it up, still in disbelief of that opinion, and BAM, I’m practically struck in the face by ads that are SO gay that I’m uncomfortable. And I’m not even uncomfortable around gay people. But these ads…what the damn? Practically shoving some dude’s crotch in your face in order to push some kinda cologne? It got to the point where even the poses they were putting the cover models in seemed a lil gay.

Through all of this, I tried to remain a loyal customer but I cant do it anymore. I’m AFRAID to turn the page lest I be ACCOSTED by some impossibly gay ad. I feel like I’m in that Friday the 13th movie and I’m hearing a friend scream in the distance and I know that Jason is around here somewheres. NOT cool. Digress for a second, the only thing that seems harder to kill than that mf’er is the Friday the 13th series itself. Seriously tho, how many more does there need to be? Can we REALLY not come up with ANY other scary movie? (*spoiler alert* What does it take to keep Jason down this time? I’m not gonna go see the movie so feel free to be specific.)

Anyways, Men’s Health, its time we went our separate ways. The divorce papers will read “irreconcilable differences”…b/c I cant reconcile just how hard you cater to your gay clientele and that makes a difference.

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