In the last 2 blogs, I’ve talked about the establishment of societal norms, how I believe they came to be societal norms, and the apparent impact of the evolution of gender roles. I mentioned how this impact seems to be especially illustrated in the Black family/community. In the Black community, we’re seeing more single-parent households than the norm and we’re also seeing more of our successful Black women remain single for longer than they probably should. I believe the evolution of gender roles plays a part in this due to the fact that they are no longer clearly defined. A man isn’t clearly going to be the breadwinner anymore and its up to both genders to learn how to deal with this possibility. Its not as simple as saying, “Yeah, it wouldn’t bother me if that were the case” because most likely, it will…to varying degrees of course.
I left off with the simplest of questions, “what’s the answer?” Plenty of answers have already been visited upon by numerous “relationship experts.” Think like a Man. Act like sheep. Blame White women. Date inter-racially. The list goes on and on. I cant offer you a simple answer. If I knew it, I damn sure wouldn’t be offering it up for free on a blog. I’d take my talents to South Beach. Here’s one thing I AM comfortable telling you though. Stop listening to “experts.” No one is an expert on you but…you. Imagine that.
But if you’re REALLY hurting for a piece of advice, here’s what I tell people. Somewhere in your life, in the present or past, you’ve stumbled across a couple that looks like they have what you aspire to have. Might be a close friend, an acquaintance…might even be your parents. I call them “relationship role models.” Ask them why their relationship works. Emulate some of what they do. If that sounds crazy to you, ask yourself what it is you did to become who you are. More than likely, you had a role model that you used as something of a blueprint to success…or at least as a way to avoid failure. Why wouldn’t relationships work the same way?
But hey, that’s just one man’s opinion. I am not an “expert”…*Big Pun voice* but I know a lot.